As I mentioned in an earlier ramble, I'm a control freak. I've always been the over-achiever. I've always wanted to please. At least I realize that though right? I mean, acknowledging the problem is half the battle (or so they say). And since it was pointed out to me by a friend (which means people outside of my little world see it too), I've been trying to make some changes. And I'm taking baby steps so as to not throw myself into any kind of shock ;)
Example #1 - At Home
Since I moved into my own little space years ago, I've had a real problem leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight. In fact, I just haven't done it much at all. Now, when I had roommates, it was different because it was more of a "clean up after yourself" deal. But since it's been just me, I wash every last dish before bedtime rolls around. In fact, I wash most pots and pans that I've used for cooking before I even sit down to the table to eat. (I should probably add that to my "let go" list too.) But during the past week, I've started leaving a few things in the sink overnight .... a glass or two, maybe some silverware ... and the world hasn't stopped spinning yet, so it must be OK.
Example #2 – At Work
Now, this is going to be a slower process. As a self-employed person, this control factor worked entirely to my benefit in creating a work routine for myself and getting stuff done in an efficient manner. I am still technically self-employed, but I have one client who takes up most of my time and energy. So, 3 days a week, I am a contract employee in a office situation (magazine) that thrills me with its deadlines and structure but that kills me with the other people who don't like to adhere to The Rules.
The editor of the mag and I are very similar creatures ... we first bonded over being "Grammar Nazis" when it came to the publication. Another co-worker, however, is not so much the disciplined type and likes to push deadlines and do things when she "feels like it." Now, this wouldn't fly in a normal corporate environment, but we are a liberal, open family of sorts and there is some "taking care of" and often some coddling that goes on. I say, so be it ... as long as our deadlines are met. This round, they were not, and there was a bit of uproar.
And so the two sides faced off: the "Best Practice" and "Always Meet Deadlines" among us against the "But if nothing went wrong what's the problem?" part of the group. This infuriates me. And though I ardently believe that my side is in the right (deadlines are made for a reason and that's how things are accomplished in a timely and accurate manner) I have decided to do my best and try to understand that some people work at their own pace and do a good job, even if it's not in a set time frame. In the industry I'm in, I don't think this should be the case (and if it is, said person should find another job) but I'm going to try to give up a little bit of my deadline control for the greater good ... Read: the greater peace of our office. I'm not really excited about it though. (It still counts though right?)
Example #3: My Imperfect Hobby
Last winter, I did a very small pro-bono job for a friend and was given a gift certificate for a free knitting lesson (we had previously discussed my desire to learn this craft). So, I took the one lesson and learned how to knit, sort of. I learned how to knit one stitch, and only in a straight row ... no patterns or sleeves or toes or whatever. So, essentially, I spent last winter making lots and lots of scarves (oh, and coasters ... but they kind of leak). I made around 10 scarves of various yarns – keeping some for myself and giving the others as gifts. The problem here is that though I learned how to do a basic knit stitch, that's all I knew. And when I messed up, I wouldn't realize it until way into the scarf and at that point, it was undo a lot and start over, or keep going (and I did both). But even as they were so very un-perfect, every person I gave them to just loved them ... bumps and all, because they knew I made the scarf with them in mind. And every imperfect knot was still made with love.
So, as the summer begins its stride toward fall, I think I'll take up this warming hobby yet again. And this, I know, is something that I cannot have full control over. I'll most likely take another class so I can at least throw some other article of wear/use into the mix, but I will again be OK with the fact that what I produce won't be perfect. But it will be made with lots of love ... and that's the most important thing anyway :)
No comments:
Post a Comment